City-specific Patriotism

I was on the bus on my usual commute from home to the city, and a few stops along the way, a wild-haired, ever-so-slightly hippie yet still reasonably dressed man got on. He asked the driver in a thick North American (not to be confused with a specifically US American) accent if he stopped in the city.

Slightly pointless if you ask me, when it clearly displays CITY beside the bus route number. I thought nothing of this until we got to the final stop, and he clearly wasn't getting off the bus.

"It's the last stop," I politely informed him.

"Oh, thanks so much," was his earnest reply.

I thought nothing of this until I began to check my iPhone because I had just received a message on it.

"Oh, aren't the iPhones just great? I've got over four-hundred apps on mine!" boomed the North American accent.

Trying not to be put off by this sudden intrusion of my own personal space, I smiled, agreed with him and told him that I had only just bought mine. When this was followed by a silence as if he was expecting more conversation, I inquisitively asked him where he was from.

"Oh, a beautiful part of the world called Niagara in Canada," was his overemphatic reply.

"That sounds wonderful. How long have you been in Sydney?"

"Oh, about thirty-five years. Sydney has got no style though. It's a very cold city. Nobody is friendly. Nobody has a smile on their face."

(What the hell did you just say? Did you just insult my city? How dare you!) - At least, those were my thoughts. If only I was quick enough to say something outrageously Oscar Wilde-like and witty. My lame reply was, of course, more along the lines of:

"Oh, well they say Melbourne has style. But comparing Sydney to Melbourne is a bit like comparing New York to Los Angeles."

"Oh yes. I definitely agree. Oddly enough, I went to school in both those cities. There isn't any other city in the world like New York. Anyway it was nice to talk to you. I'm off to the Queen Victoria Building. Goodbye."

Needless to say, I was incensed. How dare this man who I don't even know happily tell me that he hates Sydney and then power walk his way down to the heart and soul of my beloved city and expect himself to get away with it. Let's just say that since I'm not a violent person (and just about to be late for work) I let him go and we went separate ways without incident.

Several things, however, did not seem to add up. He had been living in Sydney for thirty-five years, so how exactly is it that he didn't know how to catch a bus that simply goes over the Harbour Bridge to the City? Secondly, if he had been living in Sydney for thirty-five years, why hadn't he moved back to his "beautiful" Niagara?

When it comes to understanding the subtle niceties of inter-city rivalry between Sydney and Melbourne (for all and any foreign readers), Sydney is the glitz and glam, wham-bam-thank you, ma'am, bronzed Aussie beach surfie, rely on all our internationally-recognised iconic landmarks, sunny weather, big city, rollercoaster road sort of city. Melbourne is the theatre-going, Greek coffee-drinking, floral display award-winning (mainly due to the year-round wet weather) city whose only asset that Sydneysiders really envy is an efficient tram public transportation system. And despite claims to the contrary, shopping is equally good in both cities.

Any Australian will understand this and every Australian, no matter which side they are on, will always do what the Romans do when in Rome - that is, flatter the city they are presently in.

So, what makes this Canadian from Niagara so special? Why does he get to criticise a city use a get out of jail free card?

I certainly don't go to New Orleans and say "Gosh, this place is a dump! Why is all this rubbish here and why are so many houses deserted?" I don't say this for two reasons. One, it's disrespectful to all those who have lost their lives and livelihoods in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, and second of all, it's likely to offend anyone who comes from there.

As a side note, I was actually in New Orleans during 2002 (well before Katrina) and I thought it was a rather insipid and windswept ghost town, but that was during the middle of winter and I was only there for two nights...the jumbalaya was delicious. Not many other people I know get to boast about having eaten alligator stew!

Back to this man from Niagara, perhaps ignorance was his defence, perhaps he thought that this information might be useful to me. But criticising one's city is a bit like criticising one's country, or mother, or racial background. Your city is linked to your past and your present. It by no means defines you, but it certainly has a say in why you are the way you are.

So really, I should pity this man, not be angry at him.

After all, he has been stuck for thirty-five years in one of the most awesome cities in the world and hasn't unlocked the key to enjoying it.

The only thing Niagara has got going for it is a bit of water trickling down a rock.